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Being a Good Friend September 8, 2009

Posted by Living Abundance in Uncategorized.
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I try to think of myself as a good friend. I like to spend time with friends, and I like to prioritize time spent with friends in my life by pushing other things aside to make this time happen. I like to think of myself as kind and generous and honest. I take it upon myself to do good things for my friends, to try and ease their suffering, sometimes by actions or words, or other times by just offering advice or listening to their problems.
The dharma talk at group meditation tonight got me thinking about responsibilities; of my own responsibilities and the responsibilities of others. When you are in a relationship with someone, there is always going to be a fine and hard to discern line about where someone’s responsibility ends and the others takes over. This just has me thinking about my friends responsibilities towards me and whether I allow myself to ask for help from my friends. I’m curious as to whether my friends take up the same responsibility I do for being a good friend, or keeping the relationship going. I’m curious as to whether my friends try to do the helpful things for me that I do for them. I also wonder if I’ve spoken up to my friends if they haven’t been good friends to me–and I also wonder if I’ve even made myself be aware of something like that happening.
Are there times when I’ve asked my friends for help? When I’ve asked my friends to do something important for me, and not just making the time to visit with me. I think maybe I’ve recently seen myself as above other people’s psychological or social needs. Where I’m an introvert and I’m independent and I don’t need to ask others for help. This has got me thinking because as I become more and more busy over the school year, will there become a point where I really need to spend time with the people I know, and what if they aren’t willing or able ot make that time? What if something really bad happens to me? Because lately its been pretty much smooth sailing as far as life traumas go, I really haven’t had too many big things on my plate to deal with. But if something did happen, would I be able to ask people for help? I’m not sure I have much in the past.

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