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Stuck in the Practice March 3, 2012

Posted by Living Abundance in Uncategorized.
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These past few days I have been feeling a little bit stuck in my practice. Something that I have noticed just recently is that, along with many other things in my life, my meditation and spiritual practice is one area where I am judging myself. It has become just another area that I hold expectations of myself for how I should be, and lately I find that I fail to measure up to those expectations.

A few days ago I had a difficult time with feeling very constrained and trapped by an overwhelming amount of my general expectations and self-judgments (not necessarily spiritual). Right now I feel like I need a break from any area of self-judgement, I just need to get away from that as much as I can. Therefore I don’t feel as strong an urge to be diligently practicing sitting meditation or mindfulness in daily life, or to be reading dharma books.

Another reason I don’t want to read dharma books, despite the fact that I have an excellent one out from the library right now, is that I am seeing the limits of knowledge, or dharma books as a source of knowledge. I find that I tend to be overwhelmed by too much knowledge in my mind. I know that knowledge in and of itself isn’t powerful. Knowledge can be present after coming in contact with a source of knowledge, but when it isn’t used, it passes away.

What’s more powerful are skills and techniques. The meditation practice is a technique and a skill that I am developing, and I apply it to my life to see how it works. Thus far it has been working.

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